she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
