My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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