did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
