What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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