bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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