First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
