In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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