Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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