he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
