She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
