think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
