glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
