just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Less talking, more tequila
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
this hospital has no fireball
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
