If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
