At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize