I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
