Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
