Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
