Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
