I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
