Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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