it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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