It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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