there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
