I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
