i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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