So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
