Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
