His pubic hair was longer than his dick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize