and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
