I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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