and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
