Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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