they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
