I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
