ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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