Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
