It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You ruined the universe
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
