did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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