Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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