Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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