my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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