You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
