Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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