Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
