i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sorry my hands just texted you
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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