If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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