my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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