Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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