escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
