that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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