I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
