Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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