so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
