Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
