Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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