u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize