just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
