Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
