I didn't shave. On purpose
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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