my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
