I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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