That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
