oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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