Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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