is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
