I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
