Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.