He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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