I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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